After months of attempting to join hours and hours and hours of one minute segments, I have finally uploaded the video project I did on Valentines Day.
It is in two parts and is missing some bits of audio due to restrictions placed by youtube, but it is available. Here's what I wrote for the video descriptions.
The classic novel 1984 ends with the following lines. "But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother."
On February 14th 2016, I wanted desperately to be able to say, "I love you," to anyone, anything. I spent the day with a camera for a companion, waking up with it beside me, dancing with it, singing it love songs, talking to it about everything I was thinking.
I thought about a few dear friends who had an expressed interest in the project I was doing, projecting my affection for them onto the lens. I wondered aloud about the possibilities of the internet developing into an artificial intelligence, to have that individual see this video and to have them know me.
However, I was alone this whole day in my apartment, not really connecting with anyone on any level. The camera was also an iPad, and a mirror. If I was learning to love anyone, it was myself.
I kept the camera focused on my body at all times. It was inescapable and overwhelming. But by the time night came, I didn't want us to have to part.
If you'd like, you can spend the day with me. We can be alone together.
(Note: This video contains adult language and nonsexual nudity.)
So there you have it, a public display of loneliness for your consumption. I remember swearing a lot, and I take a shower in part one. You don't really see anything on bathroom trips, but of course those are there as well. It is as unedited as I could manage while still making it possible to upload with any audio at all. The whole thing clocks in at 14 hours and 41 minutes, or thereabouts. I started it at 7:00 in the morning, but there are bits missing because the video app I was using couldn't keep it's connection to the internet.
I disabled comments on part one because someone commented and linked to the section when I get into the shower, referring to it as "hot" which is, I suppose, to be expected for the internet. If people really want to sift through a nine and a half hour video to find 5 minutes of deliberately nonsexual nudity despite the fact that a connection to an internet of pornography is available, that's their prerogative. But telling people where it is is cheating, so no more comments on part one.
I have an awful lot to do before semester's end, so I'm going to press publish on this blog and move onto the next thing.