Friday, September 19, 2014

"To Those Who Leave"

A few months ago, I was contacted to fill a small exhibition space at Brigham Young University. In mid August, I helped install it. It's still up right now, at the Harold B. Lee library on the 5th floor.

I've had a hard time sharing this one. I was visiting family in Utah that whole month, and I didn't show it to any of them. I didn't talk about it beyond when I was asked about it directly, and even then the description was the technicalities of how it was made and what it looked like, not what it was about.

In the background of the large panel, I wrote some text (backwards on the back side of the paper so the light would shine through to make it readable). I cited it there in the title information, but here's the bit I used.

The search for truth has led millions of people to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. However, there are some who leave the Church they once loved.
One might ask, “If the gospel is so wonderful, why would anyone leave?”
Sometimes we assume it is because they have been offended or lazy or sinful. Actually, it is not that simple. In fact, there is not just one reason that applies to the variety of situations.
Some of our dear members struggle for years with the question whether they should separate themselves from the Church.
In this Church that honors personal agency so strongly, that was restored by a young man who asked questions and sought answers, we respect those who honestly search for truth. It may break our hearts when their journey takes them away from the Church we love and the truth we have found, but we honor their right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their own conscience, just as we claim that privilege for ourselves.



I have never known a person to take the decision to leave the church lightly. We are aware how much it hurts those we love, and no one wants to do that. Everyone doubts their doubts before they doubt their faith. And yet, many people who do believe at some point in their lives no longer do later in life.

It's the hardest thing in the world to find you are not meant to be in a church that has been so much of your life and identity, that has provided you and those you love with so much good. I wish that I could change how I feel, the responses I've received when I've prayed, received priesthood blessings, and tried to make it part of my life anyway.

Like I stated previously, I've had a hard time sharing this piece. I've had a hard time talking about this subject. I probably won't link this specific blog to my facebook, which is where the vast majority of traffic to this blog comes from. But, like anything, hiding it away and not talking about it doesn't do anyone any good, least of all myself.

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