Friday, April 11, 2014

"I Grew Up Mormon"

I did this 4 by 6 inch postcard print for Iowa State's University Print Society annual postcard exchange. It's not my best print by any means, but I'm pretty happy with it for what it is.

Since my last blog I've started to work at Columbus College of Art and Design as a model for their drawing and painting classes. I asked if, given the circumstances of my experience and whatnot, I could use the printmaking facilities on campus. This was the first print I pulled from one of their presses.

As implied by the title of this post and the text in the print, I've had a crisis of faith recently. I don't know how permanent it is, or how to deal with it. Right now, I go to church and teach a primary class every week, but when I introduce myself to people it's no longer that I am Mormon, but that I grew up Mormon. It's all very strange. I don't feel Mormon, and everything I try and do to approach the faith and find truth in it has me feeling upset and ostracized. I can't say I believe in it. But I often wish I still did, for the sake of my family.

I don't think I have the words, time, space, or emotional stability to get into things more than that right now, especially in a public post. And that in itself is so strange for me, because I've always been all about sharing every intimate thing as publicly as possible because I know people need it and it's the only way I have figured out to deal with the world that we live in.

Regardless, I'm sure the amount of art I make on the subject will be substantial. I also feel like I could never scratch the surface of all the things I feel about it with words and pictures, even if it's all I did for the rest of my life. Which I'm sure it won't be.

1 comment:

  1. How I feel about this: I quote The Princess Bride "Boo. Boo. Boo. ... Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up. "