Friday, April 11, 2014
"I Grew Up Mormon"
Since my last blog I've started to work at Columbus College of Art and Design as a model for their drawing and painting classes. I asked if, given the circumstances of my experience and whatnot, I could use the printmaking facilities on campus. This was the first print I pulled from one of their presses.
As implied by the title of this post and the text in the print, I've had a crisis of faith recently. I don't know how permanent it is, or how to deal with it. Right now, I go to church and teach a primary class every week, but when I introduce myself to people it's no longer that I am Mormon, but that I grew up Mormon. It's all very strange. I don't feel Mormon, and everything I try and do to approach the faith and find truth in it has me feeling upset and ostracized. I can't say I believe in it. But I often wish I still did, for the sake of my family.
I don't think I have the words, time, space, or emotional stability to get into things more than that right now, especially in a public post. And that in itself is so strange for me, because I've always been all about sharing every intimate thing as publicly as possible because I know people need it and it's the only way I have figured out to deal with the world that we live in.
Regardless, I'm sure the amount of art I make on the subject will be substantial. I also feel like I could never scratch the surface of all the things I feel about it with words and pictures, even if it's all I did for the rest of my life. Which I'm sure it won't be.